the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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