Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
