just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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