Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
