we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
