I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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