I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
40s are totally the cure
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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