careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
