I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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