Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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