I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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