I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
