i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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