we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
