that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
