Fuck appropriateness.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
