Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
