dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
