My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
