"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
