I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
