Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
