i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I need to calm my uterus...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
