Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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