Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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