there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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