Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Your cock deserves a montage
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
