I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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