I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
