Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
