Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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