he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
