i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
