My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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