I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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