The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
