He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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