I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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