Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
