can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
