Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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