I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
