Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
