Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
