why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
