After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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