what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
