Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
