I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't deserve a penis
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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