There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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