my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
