Do you still have your period?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
