So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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